Pets In A Wedding? What Would Miss Manners Say?

A bride with a big place in her heart for her pooch sent in this letter asking about including pets in a wedding

I really, really, really, reeeeaally want to include my dog in my wedding. I know, it’s kind of tacky and weird. But he was my best bud for a long time before I met my fiance. Is it so wrong to want to have my dog in my wedding part, as my FMIL tells me on almost a daily basis? Or can I include Fido without venturing too far outside of the bounds of etiquette?

Funny you should mention etiquette. TeamWED wants to take this moment to remind all of our readers that the purpose of the rules of etiquette is to make people feel comfortable. What do dogs and good manners have to do with one another? First, dogs don’t always have the best of manners. Is Fido a leg humper? Will he sneak a slurp of frosting before you’re able to cut the cake? Basically, can you guarantee his behavior will be exemplary? If you can’t, inviting Fido to participate in your wedding may actually be bad etiquette. Second, do all your guests necessarily love dogs?

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As cute as Fido (or Fluffy, for that matter) will look in your wedding photos, including pets in a wedding is usually a bad idea. It’s not just about the dog being doggish or people who hate pets… there’s also Fido’s feelings to think about. Here’s a rundown of what to think about when considering whether or not to include pets in a wedding.

Is Fido Friendly?
…not to mention well behaved. Will your pup sit quietly through the ceremony and be polite during dinner? A well-trained dog can make it through a party or a sit down luncheon, but a wedding may seem very different to your pet. There will likely be a lot more people in one place than he’s used to, and he is probably not familiar with your ceremony venue or reception venue. Fido may be rather frightened by the sights and sounds of the traditional wedding, even if he is usually fearless, and his fright may have a not-so-great impact on his behavior. Is having him walk down the aisle worth the risk?

What About the Dog-o-Phobes?
How sure are you that your wedding guests are not deathly afraid of dogs or even mildly allergic? What about kids? Will the littlest guests at your wedding treat Fido with the respect he deserves, or will they pull his tail and try to ride him? It’s all right to subject guests to certain unexpected things, like a vegan menu or a dry reception, but a dog? It might not fly with some of your loved ones. See: The reaction of your FMIL. Including a pet in a wedding can make wedding guests very uncomfortable and thus unable to fully enjoy your wedding.

Won’t Someone Think of the Doggies?
Assuming that no one on your guest list will fear Fido, can you really be sure that your best bud will have a good time at your ceremony and reception? As we mentioned above, he may actually be kind of scared of all the hubbub. He may not understand why he can’t have a nibble of the pre-ceremony chocolates or sniff the bridesmaids’ shoes during the post-ceremony photo shoot. All in all, it might actually be a very stressful day for Fido, which probably isn’t what you want.

While the etiquette rules are kind of unclear when it comes to including pets in a wedding, TeamWED recommends leaving Fido at home when you say your vows and celebrating with him later. That way you can devote the entirety of your attention to his comfort and happiness, and he can bask in the glow of your love without the distractions of interesting smells, strange sounds, and nowhere to go to the bathroom.